I am not updating this site nearly as often as I should. And I know why.
I use this card deck to reflect upon my choices in life — I don’t really want to promote it but since I’ve scanned one card and am posting it here, there you go : it’s the Bright Idea deck, and in 3 words it is ugly but useful.
That’s me there, in my black & male version — who, you say ? That guy in the forefront, working on the plane, rather than playing with it. And what am I gonna do when I am done preparing that plane ? I certainly won’t play with it.
When I’m done with a project, any project, I always have a hard time enjoying the fruits of it. I am not having fun showing it off. I am not even sure I care about it anymore, let alone want to play with it.
I am not disowning anything I have done — that’s not it. Some examples : I enjoy doing something for someone, but don’t enjoy him being grateful about it, I just want to say, look, it’s done, let’s move on. I rarely enjoy eating the food I enjoy preparing. I don’t want to show off on the day when a film I directed is presented, because I know the rest of the crew will be there and I figure they don’t need me to be there too, so maybe I can avoid watching my film again and talking about it. I let go easily in the editing room in face of any editor. I find it easy to pass on my projects to other people in the creative chain.
In parties that follow up on project successfully brought to term, I don’t celebrate the project, I am there for the opportunity to meet new people.
I guess that makes me an ideal candidate to work for other people. I will be dedicated — I am always very dedicated when I commit to something — until the work is done. When the work is done, I lose interest. I don’t care who gets the credit, and don’t care what happens to my “baby” after that. After my delivery, I don’t check what other people do with it.
What the hell is wrong with me?