My scientological experiment

I studied scientology in a New Religious Groups class at the university a few years ago. The teacher suggested that we all take the preliminary psychological test scientologists give you, and that we could all benefit from some free basic and quite sound Church of Scientology ‘psychotherapy’. At the same time, he strongly advised us against reading the Hubbard very thick ‘bible’, Dianetics.

You really need an open mind to take some genuine interest in religions, and not fall into the trap of seeing a cult at every corner. Studying religions (plural) will likely have that effect, though : that of making you lose your religion, if you had one. All of a sudden, you see that pretty much all religions do make sense. That you could pick one that will make you feel good, but of course you don’t have that strong an interest in any of them in particular. So you become an unreligious person. But never quite unspiritual.

Scientology is not considered a cult. It is a religion that sucks a lot of money from people, once they reach a certain level. People ‘at the top’ did abuse their powers, and much of the whole ideology is bull shit probably, but scientologists have provided many people with effective therapy against drug addictions, etc.

My whole new thing about repressed anger causing pain, a friend of mine told me recently, is not unlike what scientology teaches. The Church of Scientology just puts materiality on these emotions that I must bring to the surface.

The unconscious is a state of repression. Everything that is painful wants to escape the consciousness. We are not masochists. If I learn to express repressed anger and sadness, it is only because it feels good afterwards. There are no other reason. I noticed that crying from anger relives a lot of physical pain. Relieves I mean. Interesting mistake.

I once met a scientologist. I met him on some vocal dating system, the ancestor to Lavalife. I had not been using that service for a very long time. I just wanted to hear voices that night, like people who enjoy browsing through an Ikea catalog, with no interest whatsoever in purchasing anything. I heard this man’s voice and this was exactly the same voice as that of the last man I was in love with (quite madly). Except the height did not match LOL... this man was taller. They were both dragons in Chinese astrology, I am just remembering that. That is, they had exactly the same age. The voice was so much the same that I actually thought it could be Him, lying about his height, but why would he do that. Anyway, I felt quite compelled to leave a message in that man’s box. He responded, with quite a different voice this time. I was still interested, so I called him.

We met on New Year’s Eve of 1999. He was my turn-of-the-century bug. I invited him to my place. Right a-way. We talked on the phone and we met. All happened within ~ 5 hours. He was getting ready to go to some big party. Instead he came to my place. Instead, he came, several times, with me. I did not come once. However, I had much pleasure. It was entirely pleasurable. Actually, it was the best sex I had ever had.

There was something quite special about him. His sense of ease. He was drop-dead gorgeous. He was an amazing lover, an amazing kisser. He had an unusually long and thick penis, I just had a uterine prolapse and had not had intercourse for years. He penetrated me and there was no pain, no difficulty of having him go deep inside me, and pounding me, and I felt him really good and it was, well, quite amazing.

For a while, i.e. days, my uterine prolapse was totally fixed. An angel had passed through my life and had left a biting mark on my tummy.

He left ME for his party after about 3 hours of intense sex. He wish he had stayed but I did not keep him. He never made it to the party. He was caught in a snow storm, so he turned around and went back to his place. It was quite unusual for him to NOT get what he wanted. See, in scientology, people get what they want, if they are ‘clear’... clear of whatever are these particles that they need to bring to the surface through ‘auditing’ (which is psychotherapy). To be fair, he wasn’t clear yet.

In the following week, he sent me a list of phone numbers. Head-hunters. Like he had promised. I was job-less at the time.

I did not call him. He did not call me. We just exchanged a few e-mails.

At some point, I called him. I wanted to have sex. With him. I was able to reach him. It was months after we had met. Calling him after that much time felt and probably was totally inappropriate. He was in the process of moving. As I was talking with him I saw that we had nothing in common. No ‘life interest’ in common. I was quite taken aback by the fact that he was a scientologist. I found that religion quite scary then and considered it a cult. (That was before taking my New Religious Groups class.) I thought he had been joking when he had said that he was ready to ‘audit’ in an e-mail he had sent me, after the sex...

So, during that phone conversation, he asked me if I was still paralysed. I said Yes, of course, it’s chronic. He said : No, it’s not, you can walk again, normally, if you really set your mind to it. I thought it was ridiculous, and still think that way now (99% of the time anyway).

Yet I still wanted to have sex with him. I could not say it. I was unable to ask him that. I was unable to even come close the subject of sex. He did. Quite abruptly, and very sweetly, he asked : ‘Do you need me to scratch your back?’ I said ‘Yes, I would like that’. He said ‘Call me again, use my cell. [He gave me the phone number.] Call me in 2 days, I will then have plenty of time to scratch your back.’ I hung up, and never called again. I fell downward... in my familiar cycle of pain, of love/hatred for everything that has to do with lust. I hate to depend on people. I hate to depend on men for sex : If I had met him again, I would have probably wanted to see him yet again OR I would have felt compelled to look for yet another man to make love with. Something which, at that point, I was totally fed up with. So I did not call him. I chose the comfortable route. I numbed myself, I ‘disconnected’.

That was my authentic scientological experiment.

I googled him a year ago. He’s now a millionaire, and he’s living in New York. I am not kidding you. Scientology, or whatever, made him a very rich man. From nothing.

Last edited by Caroline Schnapp about 13 years ago.


Someone just read this in Los Angeles

IP address:
IP country: United States
IP Address state:
IP Address city: Los Angeles
IP latitude: 34.041599
IP longitude: -118.298798
ISP: Level 3 Communications
Organization: Church of Scientology International

Well, hello, Church of Scientology International. I am flattered and pleased. Can you audit me for free. If I walk again (normally), I’ll give you my pension fund. But only after I walk normally. Thank you. about hands-on about hands-on experimentation....You're my kinda girl! LOL

This "mind over matter" deal behind scientology feels very much like the "faith" talk in charismatic Christian circles....You know (as I've ranted about it before).."Just have enough FAITH and you will be healed!" works, both the mind and the faith...but not all the time, for all people. My experience has been this: If you're not careful with comments like "just use your mind" or "you just need more faith", those that don't get healed can be if there is something "wrong" with them (their mind/faith) because "IT" hasn't worked for them.

I used to equate huge riches in 'religious' sectors as an indicator of a scam artist. Not so much anymore....particularly if the person is very philantropic. When I become a multimillionaire, I want to give huge sums of money to organizations & causes I believe in :)

For me - that is what the money is really about: Freedom to Live the Life you love AND Freedom to Help Others Live the Life they Want.

I belieeeeeeve!

Oy, you made a believer out of me.

*Heads for the nearest cold shower.*

Sex and Scientology

Loved your story...
What is generally not known about the founder of Scientology (Ron Hubard) is that he was in Naval Intelligence and directed most of the interrogation methods now adopted and used by CIA. They were into some REALLY strange stuff that manipulated reality as we generally perceive it. To understand what I am referring to, just google Montauk.
There are infinite realities, depending on where you place your attention. They are all valid - from that person's perspective.
The skinny is: Yes, you CAN have anything to place your mind towards. What is not understood within that very effective technique used in the Church of Scientology is - WHO is it that does the wanting?
A child CAN have the shiniest knife in the drawer and the simplest way is to place the footstool below the drawer so that the child can reach. Is it right that that solution should be pointed out to the child???
I love your website - very kuel!

Great web post work!

This is a smart weblog. I mean it. You have so much knowledge about this issue, and so much passion. You also know how to make people rally behind it, obviously from the responses. Great work!

seo for casiono game

Please keep on posting such articles as this is a rare thing to find these days. I am always searching online for articles that can help me.